Sleepless Nights...
It's 8 in the evening, and I have just recently awakened. Last night was my last official activity as part-time youth intern for the summer at our church...and it's been a stressful job! We "pulled an all-nighter" last night, going to movies, bowling, playing games at the church, and heading to the beach for sunrise. I love those kids!
But I wish that was all there is to it. Certainly, I enjoy the ministry to the young ladies in our youth group. Yet I increasingly find myself less and less satisfied with my church as it applies to my personal growth. It is quite a conundrum...
what does one do when they feel they are not allowed to think outside the box, when they become afraid to share their ideas for ministry because of past criticism? When the Bible studies for one's age group seem non-prepared and on occasion, watered down? When one would like to bring up questions of theology and explore new ideas, but is reprimanded for "doubting"?
And yet one still feels they are needed.
Where does one draw the line?
posted by Carmen @ 7:12 PM
4 comments
As Jill, you are confident, respectful, and a little bit bossy! You have an acquired taste for adventure, and love any challenge that you have to face.
4 Comments:
Ohhhhh boy, isn't that the kicker of a question.
I've been nutting through that one too, as I'm sure so many people are nowadays. My initial answer was to put it off by going on a "mission trip" which has really helped me learn a lot about what church should look like, how it could be done, and has helped me dream. I have another six months before I have to face the music, so to speak.
I love that your attitude is one of service - "they need me" before "they're not helping me." That's so fantastic - don't lose that attitude, it's very easy to do when you're questioning an establishment. But also, don't stop your questioning because of criticism. If you do an exceptional job but continue to question, they're going to have a conundrum - do they try and "reindoctrinate" you (my church said they would've done that if I hadn't been leaving and so I wasn't worth the effort) in an attempt to keep you, or do they ostricize you and lose what they know is an excellent resource? It's a hard choice for them to make, especially if you're good at what you do. I think that if you just keep questioning and attempting to impliment the changes you know need to happen, the ball is placed in their court to either silence you or listen to you - and either way, you've been faithful to your call. It won't be easy at all, but lots of us are dealing with it so feel free to email and we can talk :)
hey carmen.
looks like you have had a stunning summer! Greece, Mexico and the internship. Go you.
I hope you and your brother are both well. Tim Bosson is coming to NZ as I write, which is exciting. We will catch up for a few days as he comes through.
Hope you are well. Interesting thoughts you make - resonate a little to my time in Southside... trying to weigh up what is important to speak up about, and what one needs to take humility about. Journey with the lord in it.
God Bless,
Jono.
Jono! Good to hear from you. Thanks for the advice, and have fun with Tim. Keep in touch.
Hi Carmen. Coming thru the Jolly link.
I was in Savannah last weekend (and was there for church). Wife and I went to (what appeared to me in only one morning) a good solid church. I did some 'research' before deciding which church to serve in (for our one week!).
I'd be interested to know your experience. jmoff at hotmail dot com if its inappropriate to talk about churches over the internet (Savannah is a smallish town).
Post a Comment
<< Home