You just wake up one morning

Sometimes you just get lost in all that's going on and the people all around you that you don't have a moment for self-reflection; no chance to think about what you are learning and what all the experiences and people are teaching you about life and yourself. But this morning, I woke up early for no apparent reason. I stepped outside and thought for a moment. I invite you, listen to my ramblings.
My mother didn't recognize my voice on the phone yesterday. I did cut my hair. I've realized how hard it will be to go home. Have I really changed? Will I have reverse culture shock? Have I changed for the better? Wait, wait, let me think. What have I learned here? First, I've learned how much I need friendship. I've not had people I genuinely want to hang out with every waking moment of every day around me for a very long time...until now. I'm just as self-reliant, and I still enjoy my time alone, but now I actually enjoy the company of others. I've learned to be honest. I don't want to hide as much now. Other people actually do want to know me. I don't have to stay in my shell. I'll be hilarious sometimes, and it's alright. I can leave the tight-laced big sister role I feel I'm expected to be. I can be who I was made to be. I've learned I'm not as invincible as I thought. I've learned to be humble. It's easy to fall, to be less than I could be. But there's One who always picks me back up. I've realized it's all in Him and through Him and for Him anyway. I've learned that I really do have a heart. I shut myself off so often, but the first tall, dark and handsome man to come along and actually straight-out say, "I want to take you on a date" just leaves me speechless. I've learned people really do miss me when I'm gone, and that I miss them, too. I learned people are proud of me and have faith in me. I still don't know why, but it's those people who keep me going sometimes. I've learned my "differences" my "strange" way of speaking, acting, and living actually makes some ask questions. I've learned I can answer, and that they actually respect me for it. Most of all, I think I learned I am grown up. I don't know when it happened, if it was here, back home, or the first time my mom actually squeaked out the fact she had a grown-up kid and wasn't referring to my brother. I can hold my own, I can keep my values close, and I think I can come home now and actually do what I'm meant to do, and be who I am meant to be.