Dear Carmen...

Maybe i should run a dear-abby type column. Okay, maybe not, that would get old, but sometimes i get a little carried away. I had a recent facebook conversation with a friend:
Her on my wall: Have you read Boy meets Girl?
Me on her wall: Yes i have read it.
Her on my wall: What did you think?
okay, broad question that will require more than a wall to fix. and i think it might be good to make available to more folks to read. (disclaimer: the dating nazi may have struck again.)
hey friend,
that's a pretty hard question to answer, first because there's a lot to say and second because it's been a long time since i've read it. did you have anything specific in mind? First, i will say that there's nothing wrong with what Joshua Harris (the authour) is proposing. If you follow his directions, there really is nothing wrong with dating that way. However, i think people get caught up in the emotions of his view of a perfect and pure romance and start looking to the book and to morality-NOT TO GOD- to make decisions from and solve all their problems. so 1) there's nothing inherently wrong with his model, but 2)god may have something different in mind for you. he's THE creative one! You know i'm not convinced that courting is any better than dating or that there's even a real difference, but I do think as a generation and as a church we have gone a little too far on this. We are paranoid that we are going to miss the ONE PERFECT PERSON that God has for us and we base our whole lives and all our choices and all our fear on that. THAT'S WRONG. We have forgotten that 1) singleness is a gift from god. it is not something to seek to be rid of. it is something deserving contentment in and of itself. 2)if we live our lives each and every day in obedience to Christ, he will guide and direct us! he knows the plans he has for us, and that includes his plans for our relationships.
So look to god, not books for answers. anything you read, screen it through scripture and what you know about god and his character. and if you really dont think you know much at all about god and his character and what he thinks about you, then don't even be worrying about dating and all this messy stuff until you know god and who he says you are.

if i'm too preachy or if you have specific questions, please ask...you know i dont mind!
I have more thoughts...there could be more on this later....