Get Saved!!

On to my review of the 4th chapter of UnChristian. I know you've barely been able to cope waiting for this one...
okay, main premise for this chapter goes something like this: "christians just want people to 'get saved'. They don't really care about me, but just want more points on their scorecard-my membership, my money, ect".
I can see where people get this perception. I even feel this way sometimes. I often feel as though, as a Christian, the church only cares about what I do... my good deeds, ect, not who i am on the inside or the struggles i go through.
Now, I and others may have feelings on this that may or may not be true- people may really care, but don't come across as though they do. And the way we've marketed our faith over the past 50ish years contributes to that. The gospel is seen as cheap - printed on cheap-looking t-shirts, billboards, across the radio, with crappy musicians and speakers- we've fallen into thinking that if we do anything in Jesus' name people will get saved. But it's not necessarily true- sometimes it just pushes people away. We're a bit overexposed to the message of faith... it seems inexpensive (read-not worth my life) and silly (read-something a closed-minded person would accept).
We've also become rather exclusive. I noticed this last thursday when my jewish friend was kind enough to come with me to a Maundy Thursday service at which my sister was playing the cello. The pastor's words were so laced with chrisian-and-church experiences and so full of connotations that you would have HAD to have been brought up in the church to understand a word he said. My poor friend was very lost-and uncomfortable. Then we had communion, and he was VERY emphatic on the point that "you can't do this unless you're saved. So get saved then you can have some. Otherwise just sit there". I'm not trying to be mean, i'm just describing it as my friend did when we discussed it afterward. If she invited me over for passover, i'd be able to eat the Seder, although i'm not Jewish and have no intention of becoming so. Enough on communion topic for now, but i think we may be taking it a little too far. At any rate, people still don't feel accepted in a church- they have to look a certain way, say certain things and do certain things. Even more "non-traditional Christians" feel very out of place, and are often not fully accepted in a church because they do things a little differently or come from a different background. A church without all these unspoken rules and hoops to jump through could be wonderful... i long for that. The authors define a few things that should be part of any christian community: 1) worshiping God intimately and passionately, 2)engaging in spiritual friendships with other believers, 3)Pursuing faith in the context of family, 4)Embracing intentional forms of spiritual growth 5)serving others 6) Investing time and resources in spiritual pursuits, and 7)having faith based conversations with outsiders. These authors, who work for Barna, by the way, discovered that most christians they surveyed don't value these things... but rather the yes-and-no of specific lifestyle choices, avoidance of sin, ect. And that's not what it's about.
Also, we've focused on the "one-time conversion experience". Here's how it's supposed to go. I meet person x on the street. We strike up an immediately spiritual conversation. I persuade x that I am right. X accepts Christ right there. I tell x to go to church and do good...maybe even invite to my church. But i will probably never see x again.
No, it can't work that way. If we continue to focus on this, we'll only contribute to the stereotype that christians just want converts, and don't care about the person - their needs or desires. We have to form relationships, "We would put the emphasis on developing relationships with nonbelievers, serving them, loving htem, and making them feel accepted. Only then would we earn the right to share the gospel." (p. 88, from Andy Stanley)
We have to love and listen...and think as we do it. Not just "I'm supposed to share these 5 steps with you and you're throwing me curveballs, get back on track here and get saved!" But rather, when a friend shares something you weren't expecting.. acually care about it, why they think that, and then love and listen to them as they work through it.
I know i look to have natural spiritual conversations with people- nothing set up by technique or formula. But relationship. I long to share myself with others... but only if i know they care about me.